tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69556371711951724732024-03-13T04:42:30.062-07:00 Just Drink the Spilt Milk...Life Happens. Abuse, MS, RA, Depression, Don't Stop LivingDrink the Spilt Milk..Life Happens...Abuse,Illness,Loss,Depression.Don't Stop Living
I am an evangelist, spiritual counselor, author and speaker. I have MS, RA,Myositis, Fibro & Scleroderma.BUT I am None of these things.I have given up on giving up. Now I am holding on to holding on. I had a glass full of milk and the cup fell over. What am I going to do with it? I have a bag full of straws and I am willing to share. No more crying, lets just drink the spilt milk!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.comBlogger92125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-13097171561215660602017-04-13T13:50:00.002-07:002017-04-13T13:50:58.679-07:00Treating illness and Staying Sane<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
On and off this machine today. 6 Days of treatment an di know It will get better Right????</div>
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Nauseous and in pain! Uuughh!<br />Yet I believe in the healing.<br />It's coming. Wait for it.....</div>
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Isaiah 53:5<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;"><br />5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.<br /><a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/byhisstripesiamhealed?source=feed_text&story_id=1521637991203740" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit; text-decoration-line: none;"><span class="_5afx" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; unicode-bidi: isolate;"><span aria-label="hashtag" class="_58cl _5afz" style="color: #4267b2; font-family: inherit; unicode-bidi: isolate;">#</span><span class="_58cm" style="font-family: inherit;">byhisstripesia</span></span></a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mOjWHEhUmFM/WO_kE6crL9I/AAAAAAABAzo/HTbRkxb9ZdA7bImbYIXz9OhbiFla2PlcQCK4B/s1600/17903969_1521637854537087_4189799087006702405_n.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mOjWHEhUmFM/WO_kE6crL9I/AAAAAAABAzo/HTbRkxb9ZdA7bImbYIXz9OhbiFla2PlcQCK4B/s200/17903969_1521637854537087_4189799087006702405_n.jpg" width="125" /></a><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jtni4hQ53Qg/WO_kHsQdccI/AAAAAAABAzw/npeRiZfpZYg4RDCpOhPf5XuPHIIilXyxgCK4B/s1600/17759675_1521637754537097_968955238247794865_n.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jtni4hQ53Qg/WO_kHsQdccI/AAAAAAABAzw/npeRiZfpZYg4RDCpOhPf5XuPHIIilXyxgCK4B/s320/17759675_1521637754537097_968955238247794865_n.jpg" width="204" /></a>mhealed<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RN0KfBLwhPE/WO_kKsSm6tI/AAAAAAABA0A/F3tA71KHOVMu2hErSguKp15bF1CZNGAmwCK4B/s1600/17904032_1521637604537112_4408229337443824042_n.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RN0KfBLwhPE/WO_kKsSm6tI/AAAAAAABA0A/F3tA71KHOVMu2hErSguKp15bF1CZNGAmwCK4B/s320/17904032_1521637604537112_4408229337443824042_n.jpg" width="320" /></a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sdiOJtAnRJY/WO_kJf6t6sI/AAAAAAABAz4/g6slnIChe8wMWF3jn5ivrBixgpl-nL4PgCK4B/s1600/17759804_1521637674537105_1707711451371634662_n.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="234" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sdiOJtAnRJY/WO_kJf6t6sI/AAAAAAABAz4/g6slnIChe8wMWF3jn5ivrBixgpl-nL4PgCK4B/s320/17759804_1521637674537105_1707711451371634662_n.jpg" width="320" /></a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qP-ATb2uIKQ/WO_kCDQK7NI/AAAAAAABAzg/PlUiTrh8NmMXcsEmtOOy41lLcKPwElQvQCK4B/s1600/17904454_1521637941203745_5604891783117358026_n.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="184" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qP-ATb2uIKQ/WO_kCDQK7NI/AAAAAAABAzg/PlUiTrh8NmMXcsEmtOOy41lLcKPwElQvQCK4B/s200/17904454_1521637941203745_5604891783117358026_n.jpg" width="200" /></a></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-30186400982069804912017-04-13T13:23:00.000-07:002017-04-13T13:26:43.502-07:00INVISIBLE ILLNESS???<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I pay attention to myself. I mean I really look at myself from the outside looking in. I started doing it because I felt like people had no idea who I really was. I started wondering what they saw when they looked at me.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">It's hard to deal with any type of illness that doesn't stare people in the face. You know that your sickness or your mourning or your pain is there because you feel it. It just doesn't seem like anyone outside of you understands your real battle. What you really go through. Long story short. I wanted to know what it was like to see me. So I was mindful of my walk and my speech. I would video moments in my life and later go back and see if I could tell I was sick.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Guess what? Nope. I mean there were times that I struggled to get up from sitting. There were moments when I noticed I was shaking or had a tremor. I just never saw a moment that JUMPED out at me, no bell, no red light. just a woman with a few shakes and pauses here and there.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">It hit me that people really have a hard time understanding the "invisible" illnesses that I deal with. This is why I argue at the store after parking in a handicap space. I often here people say "Well you look good!" And I am a total mess. I get stares in the mall if I am in a scooter but I get stares in the mall if I am walking to slowly. I hoped that by watching myself I could say "THERE IT IS!!!" But I couldn't.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I really wish people would educate themselves when it comes to "invisible illnesses." I actually can not even stand the term invisible illness. Why is that? Invisible is defined in Webster's as "unable to be seen, not visible to the eye." Now I think I can speak for many people who suffer from illness that our symptoms are not all invisible. The idea of invisible illness is basically making it "okay" to act like someone isn't sick because you can't see their symptoms. I am sorry, that is ridiculous!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Now I am not going to bash the perception of the everyday person that MS, RA, Crohn's, Autism, Scleroderma, Depression are INVISIBLE. The reason being, that is what is taught via the medical world. My issue is with the medical world. I can not believe that anyone would refer to such life changing illnesses that cause such life changing symptoms as invisible. I suffer with a variety of symptoms. Here is a short list. Tremors in hand and face, balance issues, rash on arms, hoarse voice, weakened left side that is obviously weak, slurred speech at times, and a few more. These are the symptoms that other people can see. You know how I know that? I know that because these are the symptoms my husband and children noticed before I was diagnosed with anything. I will NEVER forget my 13 year old asking me when he was 8 years old "Mommy why are your hands shaking?" He was 8!!!!!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">When I first went blind in my right eye it was obvious that something was wrong with my eye, However it didn't scream Multiple Sclerosis. I suffer with very weak vocal chords. I am hoarse 90 percent of the time but that doesn't speak to chronic illness or auto immune illness at all. It just comes across as a little bit of this or that at different times. It takes a full conversation to explain all that is going on with my body. Why do I take chemo? Why do I need a cane? Why can;t I speak? Why does one leg drag? Why do I slur my speech? Why do I shake? Why do I have seizures? Why am I so tired?</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Unless I get t shirts made or flyer's printed up. People could always say, "Oh I didn't know she had that," or "I had no idea it made you so ill."</span><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Om9hTE2tJiE/VSIs1SmhllI/AAAAAAAAVsU/RsUf2Y4x-bY/s1600/20131128_135034-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; color: #436590; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration-line: none;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Om9hTE2tJiE/VSIs1SmhllI/AAAAAAAAVsU/RsUf2Y4x-bY/s1600/20131128_135034-1.jpg" style="border: none; position: relative;" width="164" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Om9hTE2tJiE/VSIs1SmhllI/AAAAAAAAVsU/RsUf2Y4x-bY/s1600/20131128_135034-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="background-color: white; clear: left; color: #436590; display: inline !important; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", Trebuchet, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center; text-decoration-line: none;">The truth is, our pain and our grief is so real that the word invisible is sometimes insulting. Some people think that the less you see of the disease he less serious it is. But many of us are fighting for our lives right before you and you have no idea, Is there an answer? How can we make people see Fibromyalgia and Lupus are real and painful and can completely change our quality of life. WE HAVE to educate the people around us. Do not just say "I don't feel well.. Tell them details. Show then what you can, a shaky hand or a muscle spasm, or rash.... Let people know that what you are dealing with is REAL. We have to understand that people have heard of Multiple Sclerosis, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Scleroderma, Chrohns disease etc,.... And actually the illnesses are so visible they are just missing it.</a><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">No they may not see the fatigue or the weakness. But the rashes and the swelling are visible. Show them. Explain to them that these are part of your symptoms.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">The ability to shed light on chronic illness really does rest in our hands. I know that it's unfair and I don't think it makes sense but I have no issue showing the world what I deal with. Not because their label of invisible hurts me or insults me but because AWARENESS is a necessary move from those of us that feel we are not being seen or equally considered as a real patient, sick, suffering or disabled.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Okay so what am I saying? I am saying we shouldn't have to be labeled as having invisible illnesses. People should want to educate themselves about any illness that effects someone they love. Many people have cancer. You wouldn't know it if they kept their hair and didn't tell you, would you??? Maybe you would if you recognized other symptoms that you really can see. I am not now nor will I ever refer to any illness that I have as invisible. they are all very visible to me and the people around me. I feel like invisible is an excuse to ignore or to lack compassion. "Well you look good," in other words "I don't see anything wrong with you." I want to scream look closer, you will see more than you ever imagined."</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Your illness is not invisible. Your child that suffers with Autism or depression, not invisible! What is not visible is the thirst for knowledge people should have regarding illnesses their loved ones deal with. Where is that thirst, desire, need to know when we are trying to be strong and save face so no one is uncomfortable with our reality. I say invisible illness don't exist. And neither does the idea that pretending not too see something means it's not there.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">We have to TEACH them that our lives are effected by the things they cannot see, I plan to do an entire workshop really soon on "Invisible Illness", Giving people an opportunity to ask questions and learn. At the end of the day, the reason they don't see us is not because they don't want to. It's because they don't have to. It's our time to HELP them understand us. And see us and all we endure. Pain like ours is not invisible, it just needs to be exposed.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Blessings</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-51853824164242330592017-04-06T17:41:00.001-07:002017-04-06T17:41:28.096-07:00A Mother's Work and Father's TooWhere do we learn the simplest of things? At what age are morals and manners and values planted into our spirits to later bloom. What makes us feel entitled instead of blessed, What makes us love our friends and hate our enemies? When does this all take place?<br />
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Are parents responsible for everything little Jimmy does? Are we allowing our children to become the feared generation? What is happening? I am so aggravated when I am in a store or a business and I am pushed or stepped over by some child who doesn't know any better. We blame music and we blame friends and we blame the school and we blame the exposure to Reality Television. How about we take some of the blame ourselves. You control your children as long as they live in your house. Everything they do reflects on you.<br />
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I know that being a Mother is HARD but it is A RESPONSIBILITY and it is the GREATEST ONE.<br />
I pray parents become closer to this generation of children and not forget about them.<br />
They need US and many of them Do not even KNOW It,<br />
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IF you are A MOTHER You know it gets HARD<br />Teach them to WALK, to READ, to DRIVE Cars<br />Teach them that RESPECT is ALWAYS CALLED FOR<br />And PREPARE them for SOME OF THE THINGS LIFE has IN STORE......</div>
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Teach them to KNOW the GOOD from the BAD and MAKE SURE they Appreciate the things that THEY HAVE. Worry and Watch for them whenever THEY ARE LATE. But Allow THEM TO LEARN FROM THEIR OWN MISTAKES. Being A MOTHER IS HARD but THERE IS NO GREATER JOB,.....</div>
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There is NO PAID vacation and THERE ARE NO DAYS OFF.<br />When YOU HEAR THEM BLAMING OTHERS for the THINGS that WENT WRONG, Teach them RESPONSIBILITY and How IT WILL MAKE THEM STRONG....</div>
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So WE TEACH THEM To WORK and what INDEPENDENCE Means, because THE WORLD can BE HARD and IT DOESN'T OWE THEM A THING!<br /><a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/preparation?source=feed_text&story_id=1514739528560253" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit; text-decoration-line: none;"><span class="_5afx" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; unicode-bidi: isolate;"><span aria-label="hashtag" class="_58cl _5afz" style="color: #4267b2; font-family: inherit; unicode-bidi: isolate;">#</span><span class="_58cm" style="font-family: inherit;">preparation</span></span></a> <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/reallife?source=feed_text&story_id=1514739528560253" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit; text-decoration-line: none;"><span class="_5afx" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; unicode-bidi: isolate;"><span aria-label="hashtag" class="_58cl _5afz" style="color: #4267b2; font-family: inherit; unicode-bidi: isolate;">#</span><span class="_58cm" style="font-family: inherit;">reallife</span></span></a> <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/ourkids?source=feed_text&story_id=1514739528560253" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit; text-decoration-line: none;"><span class="_5afx" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; unicode-bidi: isolate;"><span aria-label="hashtag" class="_58cl _5afz" style="color: #4267b2; font-family: inherit; unicode-bidi: isolate;">#</span><span class="_58cm" style="font-family: inherit;">ourkids</span></span></a> <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/amotherswork?source=feed_text&story_id=1514739528560253" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit; text-decoration-line: none;"><span class="_5afx" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; unicode-bidi: isolate;"><span aria-label="hashtag" class="_58cl _5afz" style="color: #4267b2; font-family: inherit; unicode-bidi: isolate;">#</span><span class="_58cm" style="font-family: inherit; text-decoration-line: underline;">amotherswork</span></span></a><br /><a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/evangelistvalrierobertsonsmith?source=feed_text&story_id=1514739528560253" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit; text-decoration-line: none;"><span class="_5afx" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; unicode-bidi: isolate;"><span aria-label="hashtag" class="_58cl _5afz" style="color: #4267b2; font-family: inherit; unicode-bidi: isolate;">#</span><span class="_58cm" style="font-family: inherit;">evangelistvalrierobertsonsmith</span></span></a></div>
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Blessingss Too<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-3954076894694426742017-04-06T17:36:00.001-07:002017-04-06T17:36:14.097-07:00Let Me Know What Day is Good For You <img alt="Image may contain: text" src="https://scontent-dft4-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/17523628_1513583498675856_883794318950928931_n.jpg?oh=5f9185dc1a9dd22d4372f1f5fa979a16&oe=595B00B7" />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-13960015352483506382016-07-08T22:07:00.001-07:002016-07-08T22:18:43.681-07:00What Do I Tell My Kids?<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VwmPbyX_l2A/V4CCuVd7sLI/AAAAAAAAtfk/jVDRlbebLlUl8CEpyIn1vvqB42mlxRn1ACK4B/s1600/13566989_1237038246330384_5124271910670484363_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VwmPbyX_l2A/V4CCuVd7sLI/AAAAAAAAtfk/jVDRlbebLlUl8CEpyIn1vvqB42mlxRn1ACK4B/s320/13566989_1237038246330384_5124271910670484363_n.jpg" width="273" /></a></div>
I wish I knew what I could say to my kids right now. As we watch tragedy after tragedy unfold before our eyes. It takes me back to 9/11. I was so stunned and shocked at the time all I could do was cry. I found myself at that very same place this morning. I began to explain to my kids that they were safe. But for some reason it was almost as if I didn't believe it so I could not say it. So we prayed. I prayed for peace and protection and I opened one eye to see my kids seriously praying. Holding hands very tightly and waiting for me to say the right thing. I closed my eyes and I realized that I did not have the right thing to say, I was not speechless by any means. But when it came to talking to God about all the things that are happening around us, I almost felt like I had no right to question him or ask him for anything. I know for a fact I have done things that disappointed God. And I knew how to talk to him about it, But what could I say about a world full of disappointment?<br />
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I have six black sons and a husband and 6 black brothers and 7 nephews. I have godsons and I have friends that I feel like are mildly steps away from being hurt or killed by the police. I have a sister that is an actual police officer so I sit in prayer for her hoping she does not come across the wrong person or group of people. I feel like I need to be doing more! I feel so helpless so I write and I write and I pray. I pray hoping that God will reveal something to me that will make this all easier to understand. But so far all I hear is God saying "TRUST ME."<br />
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Politicians are jumping to the podium to voice their opinion. The President is stuttering as he tries to make us feel better, How can you make us feel better when we can see the fear in your eyes? I refused to watch the news today. I dedicated the day to just talking to my kids and letting them know that God is in control and they are as safe as they can be with God's love and Mama and Daddy's protection. I started to feel sick at 4pm. I found out earlier that my Mom was admitted into the hospital for heart complications. I felt more and more physical pain as the day went on. But I tried so hard to detach myself from bad news so I could just breathe. So I could have time to comfort my family and time to connect with God.<br />
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My grandmother always told us that God will allow even the most painful circumstances for us to FOCUS on him, I thought about that, I thought about the pain and distress I have felt when I was being raped and beaten and held hostage. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM ME GOD????? What do you need me to do to make this feel better and to let me live a normal life free of nightmares and free of the boogeyman. I waited and waited, Life goes on and even though I ache internally from the external actions over the last few months, weeks, days,...... All I can do is TRUST GOD.<br />
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My 8 year old asked me, "If the police are bad who can we trust Ma?" And in that moment I was stuck.Unable to move. Waiting on God to give me the answer, My body started hurting and my head soon followed. We do not get a break from all the drama in the world just because we are sick, We still see it and feel it and hurt behind it.<br />
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There is an unspoken tension in the air. At the pharmacy. At the hospital. At the grocery store. People are trying not to look one another in the face. Why? Because the News footage and the circumstances of the last few days have created a break. An uncomfortable silence. We have to keep functioning in a way that reminds us that there is still good and love in us.</div>
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Everyone is not a bad guy. Keep waving to your neighbors and smiling at strangers. The smoke of confusion and<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;"> the aroma of racism.....are choking us. You can be on your team but do not let these events create something in you that you are not. Black people are frustrated and aggravated and hurting to say the least.</span></div>
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And I believe there are white people who are hurting for us. The killing of police is leaving blood running parallel with the blood of these black men into the ground. Nurturing and watering the seeds of racism and tension. Be resilient and take a stand BUT DO SO PEACEFULLY...OUT OF CHOICE...NOT BECAUSE WE ARE TOLD TO BE. Ask yourself..Who benefits from a Race War???</div>
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DO NOT FIND AN ENEMY WHERE THERE ISN'T ONE. Do not be convinced that we cannot trust one another. Or be friends or love past color. Because once that happens...we all lose. And I refuse to believe that is God's plan!!!</div>
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Who is safe? Who is sleeping well? Who has not cried or teared up in the last few days? I don't know of anyone. I do know that the events of the last 5 years involving people and police officers has had an affect on every person in this country. We are told not to question authority and not to do anything that makes us look suspicious or guilty. I no loner know what these things look like. I don't know the triggers for mania, from the police or from us. So now I am teaching my kids to speak in a way that is not confrontational. To make eye contact and to pray as soon as they see those flashing lights. Not because I want them to give in to abuse or misconduct. But because I want them to make it home safely.<br />
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They worry about me so much. You know they say stress and fear cause relapses and increase pain. But I cannot get this thing off my mind. As many of you feel useless and helpless at times like this, So do I. And I lay awake wondering "What can I do to help my kids get through this?" I always end up praying. And telling God that we see him and love him and acknowledge him. We know that he is the beginning and the end. The start and the stop. And then it hits me. Right now in this moment all I CAN DO is Stay in Prayer and TRUST GOD. Only He knows where this all is headed. For now that is what I tell my kids. That...is the Truth.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 16.08px;">I made sure they could read and know to always be polite</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 16.08px;">We taught them to be respectful and </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 16.08px;">that they should always do whats right</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 16.08px;">They learned that brothers </span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 16.08px;">protect one another<br />And that NOBODY can break that chain<br />Work hard and love sincerely<br />Make sure your wife has beauty and brains<br />We taught them to stay away from drugs and alcohol<br />Because we know those things can destroy<br />BUT...We Never said The Police may kill you<br />When we were teaching our young black boys<br />They know to be careful everywhere they go<br />But THE POLICE being a threat to their lives. did we even know?<br />So now we teach them to pray before they leave the house<br />And if they ever come across the wrong kind of cop<br />We PRAY they make it out. (c)vjrs2015</span><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-60645315677911804352016-06-28T15:10:00.001-07:002016-06-28T15:10:09.577-07:00Auto Immune Awareness Video!! Please Watch and Share<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-70884443502686134592016-06-28T12:37:00.000-07:002016-06-28T14:02:41.651-07:00Hmmm,..:"Wedding Vows"....More Than WordsI am asked time and time again how my marriage survives my illnesses. I am asked if there is a special thing that I do or a way that I act that keeps my husband from ignoring me or leaving me or who knows what. I always start with the truth. I believe that the best part of me is in the honest part of me. The completely open and naked spiritual me. That knows that no one is perfect and understands that we all go through something. And nothing turns out as planned...<br />
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I have known my husband for 22 years. He used to drive me crazy. I was really strong willed and determined, some would say I had an attitude problem. But the truth is I just believed in getting what I wanted and I did what I had to do. This was usually an issue in my relationships. I can remember before getting married, I worked 2 jobs full time and I slept for 3 hours a day. I was not hurting for money. I had a nice little savings account. I just wanted more for myself and my son. So I worked hard to get it. Men have an issue with women like me. I know they do. I am a lot like my mom. My grandfather use to say she was untamable.<br />
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Well for me it wasn't about being tamed. It was about being appreciated and respected for what I did for myself. I didn't like for a man to act like I needed him. I didn't think I did. I look back and I understand that my husband came into my life when I was very busy, working, college, night job, raising a son, he played sports and i had a couple of other male friends I hung out with. Oh PLEASE DO NOT LOOK SURPRISED! I was a single, hardworking, classy, intelligent, strangely beautiful, independent woman back then, Lol I love me.<br />
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Anyway we met and he was handsome to say the least but he wanted to spend a great deal of time with me that I just did not have. Remember we are being honest. So I will say that I could have made the time but I really just didn't want to do the LOVE thing at that time. Well eventually he won me over, He was actually exactly who I needed in my life. You know God knew I was a handful. We seemed to balance each other out. That was cool. We fell in love and six kids later we are still in love.<br />
He is still my King. I mean he rescues and protects and loves me. He is in no way perfect. But he is the base of my strength at times. Always telling me i can when I feel like I can't. He challenges me to do a little bit more. But picks me up when I can't seem to do a little bit.<br />
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It's hard to watch someone you love begin to change. They are weaker and they are slower and they are sadder than you ever imagined when you got married. I may look the same but so much has changed. The lack of so much independence has almost broken me. And at times you feel almost like a burden. I miss the OLD ME and I know HE does as well. He wouldn't say it and I love him for that. But I see t. I see it every time I can't walk up the stairs alone, When i lost the sight in my right eye, I saw it, When I awake from a seizure in his arms, I see it. Not regret. Not a look of pity, A look that says"I wish this wasn't happening to you." I have cried for myself at times. But lately I cry for him and the kids. You cannot give back the time that being sick has taken from us, But we have the most amazing memories and we continue to make them. At times that means everyone gets in bed with me and we watch Netflix.<br />
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My husband is doing more than enough with regard to taking care of me when I need to be taken care of, And he is still that source of strength and determination I need. But I give him a standing ovation for sticking with me. For dealing with so many things that we just never imagined would become our wedding vows in moments each day. People will never fully understand the power being sick can have on the entire family. My kids, all boys are so strong. But they break down sometimes. My 15 year old says "I just want to fix you Mom." i wish he could, But the TRUTH is only God can repair the majority of things that have been broken or rearranged in my life. Not even my big, strong, handsome husband can save me this time around.<br />
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I am in some ways that same girl willing to do what it takes to make it. I am just doing it a little slower and with a little more appreciation and love than before. I fought with am Ex boyfriend once and I yelled "I do not need a MAN!" He said, "No and you never will." He was wrong. God knew I would need more than one. So I have seven.And a grandson and 2 granddaughters. My sons are like sunshine that returns every single day to the place where the storm began. And my husband is and always will be the MAN that made me KNOW that LOVE was necessary and it is wonderful.<br />
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Illnesses come and we have no warning at all. So we are not prepared to deal with the changes or the rollercoaster ride. However, there are some bonds that can sustain anything. I know I am blessed. I have many friends who have no support at all. I told my husband a few days ago that he needed to LIVE HIS LIFE and LOVE ME without missing out on a thing, He deserves all he has dreamed of and worked for. I looked at him. I looked through him and into that Spirit that captivated me so long ago and I saw it. Without him saying a word I saw it. He told me later that when he looked in my eyes all he could think of was "Til death do us part." Whether we are friends, married, or seriously angry with one another I know that He will always be available to me and caring and praying and waiting for me to get better. Make meaningful, sincere, honest connections in this world.<br />
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We love and we live as if tomorrow is promised. We take advantage of the ones we love, We ignore them. We disrespect them. And we make ourselves believe that tomorrow I will do better or I will apologize or I will forgive TOMORROW. TRUST ME, if you have something to do over or say better or apologize for or even something to forgive. Do it today. You never know when those vows will show themselves to be more than words.<br />
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BlessingsAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-79875446760086019842016-04-25T16:37:00.000-07:002016-04-25T16:37:04.433-07:00Who Asked You?<br />
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Everyone has an opinion on someone else's life. I totally get it. Opinions are one of the most predictable things human beings do,<br />
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My question is "Who asked you?"<br />
I am just wondering if we understand the damage our opinions cause. Sometimes our opinions make a situation worse or more uncomfortable. Which is why it's always good to wait and see if they want your opinion..... Some of us are OPINION EXPERTS! we have all the answers to solve all your problems. While our own life is in disarray. Look at it this way....If my neighbor;s roof is leaking and so is mine, I should work on my own roof before trying to tell my neighbor how to fix his. Otherwise, we may both drown!<br />
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I love to give my opinion if someone ask me for it . I will even ask, "Are you sure you want my opinion?" I don't just hand opinions out like free apples, So many of our closest relationships are damaged or ruined because we gave our opinion. It is so important to know the difference between advice and opinion. We also have to know when either is warranted.<br />
You can imagine some of the opinions I deal with. Here are a few....<br />
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You would feel better of you stopped homeschooling.<br />
You would feel better if you exercised more<br />
Most of the time doctors are just guessing, you look fine to me<br />
You just need to eat right<br />
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Why is it so important that we interject ourselves into other people's issues without an invitation? Our relationships are usually fed from our love and appreciation for other people. We have to be sire that we do not allow respect to fall to the back burner just to offer our 2 cents on a $500 situation. We need to be supportive of course. However, sincerity is never shadowed by being rude or loose lips.<br />
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I know that we will always offer our opinions. I just want to make sure we police our own lives as much as we police other people's. Ask yourself before you offer a word or two "How would I feel if it was me in this situation?" You may decide that being quiet is the best thing to do. We have to take responsibility for the things we allow to come out of our mouths. The tongue is powerful! Use it wisely. We can give hugs and an ear to listen without being rude or hurtful or overstepping our boundaries.<br />
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Who asked you???<br />
Don't let your relationships start ending because of your opinion. :)<br />
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BlessingsAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-41169458721428907982016-03-25T12:14:00.001-07:002016-03-25T13:46:57.327-07:00They Don't Believe You're Sick<br />
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I am not going to keep acting like people do not bother me when they act like I am fine. I have decided to just be honest. I mean the only way to make you understand what my truth is will be not accepting their lies. "I didn't know it was that bad." "You look good on the outside" "I wish I looked that good wen I am not feeling well." "Maybe it is all in your head" "You are probably just stressed" These go on and on and on. I can't take it anymore. We stand up for so many things in this world, I have made it my mission to stand up for the ones that do not look sick. You know.... The ones that need to eat better so their depression will go away. The ones that need to exercise more so they can feel better. The ones that are just over reacting. I am them. And it is past time for people to respect us, Even if you do not understand our illnesses or our situations, just be respectful of them. There is NO REASON for ANYONE not to know what these diseases are. It is 2016. The internet can teach you a magnitude of things if you type it in the search bar, But YOU HAVE TO WANT TO KNOW.<br />
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The lack of compassion in this world is shocking. We can come together for tragedy and we can rally against one group or another but when it comes to what we do not understand,,,,we don't believe it. There are not very many people that would want to pretend to have Multiple Sclerosis, AIDS, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupus, Scleroderma, Myositis, Crohns, Fibromyalgia, Depression, Sarcoidosis, ALS, and so many more it would take pages to list. I imagine there are those that pretend to be sick for attention. I imagine that it is hard to watch our loved ones suffer. I imagine that I could possibly be a fake, But Why in the World would I have so much passion for this? Why would I share my story time and time again? We have to be logical in our thinking. Pain is not a choice that most people choose. Happiness, Joy, Good Health, Mobility,....these are the things we all desire. Those of us that are sick and those that are not. We just need you to support us.<br />
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We don't want pity or to be constantly watched over. We just need to be believed and taken seriously.<br />
I know that a lot of medical information can be overwhelming to you. I know that it is scary to see it written down or on a screen when our loved one is sick. But it is so much better to be aware and educated about their illness than to use not knowing as an excuse.<br />
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When I first became sick, the non belief from the people I love was harder to take than the illnesses themselves. I needed a friend, a hug, a shoulder to cry on. And people kept saying, "You will be okay." If you love someone that is dealing with any illness at all, any illness.,..find out what it is and figure out how you can help. They may not need anything from you but for you to believe their truth when they say they are tired or in pain. Something so simple to give is often so hard to find.<br />
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Ask yourself, "How would I feel if everyone questioned the validity of my sickness?" Then sit back and imagine what that feels like. You would not understand why THE THING that is controlling your life is so invisible to the people in your life. If nothing else, just be kind and show compassion to anyone that is obviously dealing with something. We know how the world works, eventually we will all find ourselves in that place in one form or another. How nice would it be if we just believed one another?<br />
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Blessings<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-52666126798461520972016-01-30T03:57:00.001-08:002016-01-30T19:59:44.160-08:00How Can We Help You Deal With Our Pain?There is no doubt in my mind that after you are diagnosed with a serious illness, be it incurable or life threatening, you go into shock. You scan the words over and over in your mind and try to understand it and then process what it means to the quality of the rest of your life. For some of us this happens fast. For some it takes hours and others may take days. Whatever the case WE have to understand it and wrap our minds around it as well as we can before we can even talk about it.<br />
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I have found that many times people that really love and enjoy you are the ones that have the hardest time accepting your pain, sadness, depression or feelings of abandon. It is not that they do not care but they do not find it easy to believe that you have been stamped with an expiration date or told that life as you know it is over. I will be the first to admit I fell apart on numerous occasions after each diagnosis. It never got easier. Because I was never diagnosed with something that had a cure. I remember sitting down and talking to my kids and my husband. My poor family was shocked. I mean when I say their faces drained of joy and color. You better believe it. They immediately were broken hearted. My husband was a rock for the most part. I mean I knew he was scared but the kids didn't. it tooks weeks of talking and researching and talking and praying for all the boys to feel like they were at a point where they could accept it all. I remember being so happy that I had their support. I felt so blessed.<br />
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Everyone was not that easy. I lost friends and the level of closeness changed dramatically. If I did speak to a friend or go eat with them, they just stared at me. It was so uncomfortable. I had a girlfriend literally break down and cry and run into the bathroom. I followed her and I ended up consoling her and telling her it would be fine,...I didn't really believe that myself at the time. But I had to make her feel better. It hit me that day that I would have to do this a lot. And over the years I gave found myself comforting and assuring other people about my circumstances. I know that has a great deal to do with why I speak and and why I advocate. I know that there are so many things that people do not understand about the illnesses. I also know that I am still trying to "get it" myself.<br />
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I wish there was a way to help our loved ones deal with what is happening to us. I know that our lives are so tied up in one another's that we often take on the pain and discomfort of the one's that we love, But I have to be very honest and say this, "I cannot make you feel good about what is hurting me." We can learn and we can work together to cope but being able to look at you and feel bad for you because you feel bad for me,...I cannot do it.<br />
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I have gotten to a point where I do not share all my pain and sorrow with my friends and family. I do not want to overwhelm them or upset them. So I find myself dealing with a great deal of this by myself. It is so backwards but it is how things are. I always tell people to educate themselves as much as possible when someone they love is sick. That way at least you understand what is happening even if you feel like you cannot help, And be compassionate without acting like we are pitiful. If you have a question ask it. But do not add the task of trying to reassure you that we will be okay,....we are not sure of that ourselves. I can't make you understand why I am fighting but you can always find out what I am fighting. And how you can fight with me.<br />
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I ask myself all the time how I can help other people deal with my pain and I come up with two things. One is to be very honest about what I deal with. The second one is to remind them that I am living what they are watching so I need their support and their concern. How I wish I never had to deal with this. It is so confusing and so much to deal with. Sometimes it is more than I feel I can handle. That does not mean I do not love my friends and family. It means that there are so many levels and seasons in this journey that I am learning to deal with and .I have to feel good or feel like I am at a good place with what is happening before I can get you to a good place. I can not make you follow through with plans to visit or hang out. I can not make you call me or check on me. And I will not ever overlook my situation in an attempt to make you feel comfortable. I just can't.<br />
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My niece told me once that watching me over the years deal with MS and RA and Scleroderma was overwhelming for her. It seemed unfair and it seemed like I would never be the same. I was honest with her. I may never be the "same" but I will always love her and enjoy our time together and I will always be available to all of them. But I need them to understand that they can support one another and help one another and not always let that job fall to me. Being sick does eventually affect the entire family and those around you,...I truly understand that, But as long as I am trying to deal and cope and develop a sense of what my life is now like and how my kids and my husband are , it is very hard to make sixty other people feel better.<br />
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How can we help you deal with our pain? The answer is,.. we have to be honest and we have to be protective of ourselves. Then we have to be willing to tell you that we are learning as we go and we welcome you to do the same. We love one another and believe it or not that fact is the most important one that will help us all to cope.<br />
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BlessingsAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-85179742097335650332015-12-18T07:59:00.001-08:002015-12-18T08:08:02.665-08:00Caitlyn Jenner....Another AwardNames and labels???<br />
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I am a<br />
black, disabled, blind in one eye, homeschooling mother of 6 sons.....<br />
Where is My AWARD!!!?????<br />
Where is yours? You are brave and courageous and living against the odds and making the tough decisions and living on a shoe string budget and disabled and short and the the minority! <br />
When do you get your Award for Bravery?<br />
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I will start by saying I do not have anything against Caitlyn Jenner nor do I judge her decision to become a woman. I trust God in issues like this. But I am concerned with the amount of accolades and awards she is receiving. As Bruce Jenner he was a wonderful athlete and worked hard for his medals and trophies. Caitlynn seems to be winning the world over because she finally decided to step into a dress and out of her track shoes.<br />
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There are so many amazing people doing amazing things in this world everyday/ Yet she continues to win awards for bravery and being fascinating. So many of our children are bullied and ridiculed because they are struggling with their sexuality. I do not see how Jenner's fame and fortune could be helping these kids. It is all glimpse and glam and of course she receives backlash and rude remarks but there is a HUGE difference than a 14 year old boy coming to terms with his feeling like he is a woman. We are so covered in labels in the United States. Your race, religion, disability, sexual orientation, economic status and values will have you beaten, shunned, murdered, ridiculed and bullied every day,. No bodyguards. No comfort from the media that you are supported and no bank account to look like you feel.<br />
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<a href="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQyHer7Uw4SfOzXycQwLirZw1J8xAbPWMNmBKOFQs1wegOWyGT3" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Image result for images name tags" border="0" src="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQyHer7Uw4SfOzXycQwLirZw1J8xAbPWMNmBKOFQs1wegOWyGT3" /></a><br />
If we are going to allow our children to witness and live amongst people with so many differences, we must be honest about the prejudice, hatred and ridicule that goes along with our choices and our birth rights. I would never ask my sons to apologize for being black but I do alert them to the fact that everyone is not going to welcome them no matter how educated or well spoken. We are so very uncomfortable with what we do not understand. I can't walk in the store with my cane or ride in the motorized scooter without stares. Because we want to know what is wrong but quite often we do not care. If you are overweight you are insecure in a variety of situations and you also get the stares and giggling. Our autistic and asperger's children are looked at as so very different from the other kids when they really are not. But the label helps us to deal with what we cannot understand.<br />
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I will say that it was bold for Caitlyn to step out and feel the sun on her face but what are we teaching our young people about courage and making a difference? What do they see as a good life, when any and everything is possible nowadays. They get teased for their clothes and their hair. Bullied because they speak different or walk different. And they get up and go to school every single day,...courageous! I have six boys that have looked to me and Dad to provide the answers to the contradictory things we witness. Being gay will get you beat up, A Muslin man gets the most hateful stares. Black people are still getting followed in the mall. Hispanics are teased for cutting grass and working for the minimum. Women are still not considered as equal to men but a man can become a woman and receive an award!? White kids in the wrong zip code can be bullied and teased and social media is like a bully that lives with you. And our kids fall prey to it over and over again.<br />
<a href="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTcBPdXkoI8uq30VpngID25zZx0P4C2JS1xH5klBVmsUWdYtSGxpQ" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Image result for images name tags" border="0" src="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTcBPdXkoI8uq30VpngID25zZx0P4C2JS1xH5klBVmsUWdYtSGxpQ" /></a><br />
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My kids know I am handicapped, They know that I am blind in one eye and they know that I could wake up any day and be paralyzed. But they also know that NONE of that makes me better than a mom who is single and working two jobs and has 4 kids. The level of courageousness that some of us show each and everyday without trophies or applause or pats on the back is unimaginable. Dealing with 6 disease at a time and still holding down a family, a household, and living through it all. That is bravery!<br />
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I don't want us to sit back and allow the Bruce Jenner story to confuse our kids. You do not have to do that much to be recognized as brave or interesting. And you deserve to be acknowledged and appreciated for what you do as well as anyone else. I get it...he is an icon. But at the end of the day, some of us regular people are beating the odds against us over and over again. We cannot lose sight of what matters in our country. And a personal decision to change who you are should be respected, But not any more or less than a child who is not allowed to make a decision for fear of retribution.<br />
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Labels,.....we all wear them. Whether we like them or not. They cover us like boy scout badges. And we live everyday in spite of the labels, the odds, the audience and the fall out. Caitlyn Jenner is a groundbreaker and I am sure we have not begun to see how appreciated and admired she is in a world where those same people will spit on Muslims and throw rocks at gays, The same people that use words like fag and nigga. the same people that want Hispanics to "go back to Mexico" They will stand and applaud the bravery they see in Caitlyn and never acknowledge the coward within themselves, Our role models have drastically changed wince I was a child, Which is why we have to be the ones our kids look up too. Especially when they are not sure what they are looking at.<br />
<a href="https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSwY8I1sSouiJxvllcjgDoe43CzbJTwt6uU1x7ym1BJjhEuEG0L" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Image result for images name tags" border="0" height="229" src="https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSwY8I1sSouiJxvllcjgDoe43CzbJTwt6uU1x7ym1BJjhEuEG0L" width="320" /></a><br />
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God bless us all. And I pray that those brave, strong, vigilant, and resilient young people will one day be acknowledge for all they do that influences our country regardless to what their last name is.<br />
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Blessings<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-17475954061483533052015-12-14T08:37:00.001-08:002015-12-14T08:37:15.361-08:00The Most Wonderful Time of The Year"It's the most Wonderful Time of the Year/"<br />
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I love the Holidays. There are various reasons why I look forward to these days filled with love and laughter and possibilities. I will admit that I have always enjoyed this time, However as you begin to age your reasons for loving the Holidays may change. Whatever the case most people look forward to this time of year. Once I began to get sick I really loved seeing another Christmas or another Thanksgiving and I was overjoyed to see another New Year. Sometimes I felt wonderful when Christmas rolled around and sometimes I was physically miserable and in pain. But I was determined to give my kids a "nice" Christmas. I smile now thinking back on what I thought a "nice Christmas" was.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lsACWUzl2zw/Vm7r-riwd9I/AAAAAAAAhig/U0bk_A_46Tk/s1600/xmas2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lsACWUzl2zw/Vm7r-riwd9I/AAAAAAAAhic/GWqfG8p472E/s1600/xmas2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><b>Six years ago, right after my neurologist and my internal medicine doctor's informed me that I was progressing with my illnesses.. I was sad I had my sister take me straight to Target to go Christmas shopping. My lungs were scarred, my MS was worse. My muscle weakness was progressing and my eyesight was coming and going. In 2013 I lost my eyesight in my right eye and it has not come back, </b></a></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lsACWUzl2zw/Vm7r-riwd9I/AAAAAAAAhig/U0bk_A_46Tk/s1600/xmas2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lsACWUzl2zw/Vm7r-riwd9I/AAAAAAAAhig/U0bk_A_46Tk/s400/xmas2.jpg" width="400" /></a>Anyway on this day I was overwhelmed and I was afraid but I just decided that this particular Christmas would be one that my family would always remember. I bought decorations and gifts and wrapping paper and food and anything that corresponded with Christmas. On our way out of the store as we crossed the parking lot I saw a man sitting on the curb. We loaded up the car and my sister walked to take the carts back to the store. I was drawn to this man. I kept staring at him. I could only see the back of his coat and hat. I could tell he had a sign in his hands. It had began to rain which was actually freezing rain and he didn't even have on gloves.<br />
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My sister jumped in the driver;s seat and moaned about how cold her hands were as she turned on the car heater. I remember thinking, "if her hands are cold I can only imagine what his feel like." As we pulled out the parking space I asked her to go in a different direction so I could see the man. She looked at me kind of funny but she did it.<br />
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As we pulled up behind the car ahead of us I read the man's sign. "Merry Christmas, If you have anything left over please bless me and my family. I am laid off 6 months." My sister said "Oh wow, that poor man." I said. "Pull over." She looked at me sideways but she did it. My heart was melting for this man. It was odd because I see this sort of thing all year long and I usually give a couple of dollars. But this time I was moved to not just give but to speak, I rolled the window down and I spoke. He smiled back with his hands shaking from the cold. I asked him, "Where is your family?"<br />
He said, " Over there in or car," and pointed across the parking lot. I looked and saw a medium sized car with at lease two kids and an adult inside.I asked, "What do you need?" He hesitated and asked me "What do you mean?" I asked the very same question again. The car behind us started honking and my sister waved them around. The man came closer to the car and he started naming things. Nothing expensive or over the top. Diapers, milk, cold medicine, socks for his kids, gloves for him and his wife and maybe a couple of blankets. I asked, "Do you live in your car?" He said "no." He explained that they were living with his parents for now, I reached into my wallet and thought to myself "I am only giving him what I pull out." When I pulled my hand out there was $90 in it. I handed it to him and his face lit up! I held his hand and I asked him to do me a favor. "Please use this for your family and when God places you back on your feet, you bless someone else, okay?" He said ,"I sure will."<br />
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We started to pull away and I saw the woman in the front seat of the man's car wave to us. I think she just knew we had given him something. I was blessed that day. U was blessed because I had jumped into my own worry and concern about the Holiday's after my doctors visit. I was consumed with making sure my kids had a lasting memory of that particular Christmas. However, God wanted me to see how blessed I was even with the bad news. I had money. food. shelter from the cold and an OVERFLOW that I was able to share with someone else. It hit me on the way home and I cried. My sister cried too and we never said ONE WORD. We just both knew what God was trying to show us,<br />
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I treasure everyday. I am grateful for each moment with my family. It DOES NOT MATTER what we hang on the walls or how we decorate our homes, What matters is that we draw closer to the people we love. And we thank God for the things we have that we are favored and blessed to have, things other's are begging for. I will; never forget that day, It was as if God was saying, "Do not be afraid of what you do not know, be grateful for what you do know." And I know that I am blessed. Sick or not, I am abundantly blessed and so are my children and my husband.<br />
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I trust that no matter what the year brings my children appreciate me and thank God I am still with them. No gifts or trees needed. Everyday is a gift to us. We celebrate God's love and mercy each day. Because we know it can be changed in the blink of an eye. We look forward to the Holidays and the family visits but for US every season, every month and every day create the Most Wonderful Tome of The Year.<br />
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Merry Christmas and Blessings AlwaysAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-20023064031335989532015-11-13T10:18:00.002-08:002015-11-13T10:18:25.690-08:00I Hope I Can Make It<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-A40ms4KuN9A/VkYpTe53l_I/AAAAAAAAepk/x1j4lWt0uK8/s1600/edited_20150819_195911%257E3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-A40ms4KuN9A/VkYpTe53l_I/AAAAAAAAepk/x1j4lWt0uK8/s320/edited_20150819_195911%257E3.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />
I recently went through surgery. It was the first one in a series of three. I unfortunately have been scarred from the inside out from Scleroderma. My gallbladder was removed, my stomach was scraped and my lungs were treated as well. It was and still is a very painful recovery. The surgery was a week ago today. I am now able to walk along the wall to get to the bathroom by myself. I was thinking this morning how unbelievably agitated I am!<br />
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I love God. This is not a "Woe is me, why is God picking on me" type of post. It is actually a "How much does God think I can take?" kind of post. I know that I can be a great deal to deal with at times. I mean I am very passionate about anything that I care about. I really do not have a MEDIUM button. I am either ALL IN or ALL OUT. So lately it seems as if certain things in my life were beginning to get really good. I mean my entire family seemed to be at a good place and we were enjoying that place and appreciating all of God's grace "at that place." Then just like clockwork, I wake up one morning unable to sit up by myself. I mean I was literally unable to sit up, The pain in my stomach and the top of my legs felt like fire. I yelled out and I grabbed my belly. The first actual words out of my mouth were , "What happened to me? I was fine last night!":<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-H_PFOIPmmKE/VkYoKzPoFJI/AAAAAAAAepY/AJX3Wx2O2VA/s1600/IMG_20150411_195816.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-H_PFOIPmmKE/VkYoKzPoFJI/AAAAAAAAepY/AJX3Wx2O2VA/s200/IMG_20150411_195816.jpg" width="200" /></a>Imagine that for a minute, You go to bed in a good place physically and mentally. You wake up and it is almost as if you have been beaten and abused in your sleep. Seven hours of sleep and I was miserable. I remember calling for my husband and then calling the doctor and then going to Urgent Care and then having an ultrasound and then waiting. I had so many ridiculous thoughts. My husband had a vasectomy 7 years ago but I kept thinking maybe I was pregnant in my tubes. Then I thought maybe I had some terrible form of food poisoning. Then I asked myself out loud "Did I have a seizure last night?" I knew I hadn't but I had to have an answer to this pain! If you have ever felt a pain or a spasm or an ache that seemed to come from nowhere then you get what I am saying. The human mind HAS TO KNOW!!!!! Years ago when I first started getting sick, I remember asking the neurologist, "What;s the problem and how do we fix it?" But it has NEVER been that easy,...EVER.<br />
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Anyway long story short, they came and told me that I had an enormous amount of inflammation and scar tissue in my stomach and my intestines and that it had grown or spread or covered up something very quickly. And that it was almost as if I was being suffocated from the inside out. I would need surgery and surgery and meds and blah blah blah!!!!!!!<br />
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I did hear a doctor say that I would feel worse after the surgery for a few weeks. He was right. I am sitting here now wondering why we bothered the dang scar tissue. This is where my agitation comes in. I cannot wrap my head around MY OWN HEALTH ISSUES! I do not understand the unpredictable flares and the out of nowhere seizures. I have the hardest time making my family and friends understand how hard it is to WANT TO GO and WANT TO DO but I have to wait for permission from my body before I can even get out of bed.<br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-i36D83q7Oq0/Vi969FtqjNI/AAAAAAAAcdY/0TxEeBr0Q3c/s1600/20151007_120510.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-i36D83q7Oq0/Vi969FtqjNI/AAAAAAAAcdY/0TxEeBr0Q3c/s320/20151007_120510.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />
I wish I could stand on a building in every city in this country and explain for 45 minutes why it is so freaking unfair to judge those of us that simply do not have any control over what our bodies will do. I have a sister that actually takes a week away from everyone each month so that she can deal with her Period Issues as she calls them. That is because she knows that her period is coming each month. Nothing is as predictable as your period!!! Even my husband knows when I am going to start mine, Because my personality changes. We do not get that with these illnesses. We hope and pray that tomorrow will be a good day. We get excited to imagine what that road trip or that family vacation or that birthday party or that girls day out or that night with the boys or that graduation or that wedding but in the backs of our minds we are thinking, "I hope I can make it."<br />
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I lay here an hour ago thinking about this journey and the fact that it isn't getting easier. I actually whispered, "I hope I can make it." I really did. I hope that I can beat this constant battle and live in victory. I know it;s possible. I know I can do it. But please know that WE that deal and endure with these attacks get frustrated and angry too. We get upset and heartbroken when we can't follow through with plans. We get mad when we can't get out of bed 7 hours after falling asleep!<br />
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I does not matter WHAT you are dealing with, Depression, MS, RA, Lupus, Sclero, Sarcoid, ALS, HIV, mental illness, Heart Disease, Diabetes, and on and on. You will have the days when your loved ones are looking forward to you making it and you are Just Hoping you can make it. Cut yourself some slack and try to stay in the race. I learned long ago, I do not have to finish first to WIN, I just need to finish.<br />
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Blessings<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-75975026894423716082015-11-02T11:32:00.001-08:002015-11-05T16:45:11.828-08:00MY SPIRIT<div class="_1dwg" style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 10.72px; padding: 12px 12px 0px;">
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MY SPIRIT</div>
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I stood in the mirror this morning looking at myself. No lipgloss, no eyeliner, no clothes on. Just me looking at the person that God loves with every flaw, scar, wound, extra weight, deep brown skin, and muscle that I could see with my eyesight. And I leaned into the mirror. I wanted to SEE THE ME that God sees. I wanted to look into my own spirit and see what is good in me, see what is love in me, see what is joy in me, see the God in me.</div>
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I stared. I smiled, I tou<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">ched my face and I ran my hands through my hair it felt thin, so I grabbed my scarf and I wrapped it up, then I ran my hands up and down my arms. And I realized that my SPIRIT is living within this shell. This shell that can be beat up and burned. This shell that can be transformed and mistreated. The shell that can lose hair and gain weight This shell that can be made up and played up to look any way I want. But when I looked into my own eyes. When I leaned in deep enough to see my left eye twinkle and my right eye grasp for light. I smiled</span></div>
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It was an experience that we all should have. We know what the OUTSIDE LOOKS LIKE . We know WHAT WE CAN DO TO CHANGE THE OUTSIDE, We Understand that Our bodies are shells or coverings. But WHAT IS INSIDE of You? Do you see the Good in you and the Love in you and the Joy in you and the God in you? Do you see past what the obvious beauty is and see into the spiritual beauty you are?</div>
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My skin is nice and soft and a beautiful shade of brown. My body has scars and wounds and marks, proof of a life worth fighting for. My face is so much like my mothers and my sisters, so much like my sons and my granddaughters that it has become OUR FACE. But MY SPIRIT! It is MINE and It smiled at me this morning. It looked at me and I looked back. And as I began to wash my face I heard God say,....."Did you see it?" And I wondered How can SO MUCH be CONTAINED in so LITTLE? How could a LIGHT be SO BRIGHT inside but Dimmed when exposed? And I heard God say..."Did you see it?"</div>
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The healthy, joy filled, overflowing, ever growing, loving, beautiful piece of me that lives in that shell, that has not been broken or tainted, did you see it?" The vessel of truth and my hope for the world, like an oyster I finally looked inside at the pearl. And I loved it, I touched the mirror and said, "Lord I am so much more than I realize, I did not KNOW I had a spirit that size!" And I smiled</div>
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I stood in the mirror this morning looking at my shell and it was not perfect but MY SPIRIT is WELL and I smiled and I LOVED IT!!! (c)vjrs2015<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-12126020353570036922015-10-28T08:47:00.001-07:002015-10-28T12:12:57.829-07:00Protesting or Praying<br />
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<img src="http://thisismybipolarlife.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/15575593-lots-of-furious-people-protesting-a-group-of-people-protesting-protest-demonstrator-protest-man-demo.jpg?w=487" height="256" width="320" /></div>
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<a href="https://s.yimg.com/fz/api/res/1.2/TDZ0QfMQsQjuyL6RE0hUbQ--/YXBwaWQ9c3JjaGRkO2g9NTY0O3E9OTU7dz04NTE-/http://www.turnbacktogod.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/A-Prayer-For-You.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Name It and Claim It. Believe It and Receive It." border="0" height="265" src="https://s.yimg.com/fz/api/res/1.2/TDZ0QfMQsQjuyL6RE0hUbQ--/YXBwaWQ9c3JjaGRkO2g9NTY0O3E9OTU7dz04NTE-/http://www.turnbacktogod.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/A-Prayer-For-You.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
I find it interesting that people judge my position on topics as being lukewarm or basically closed down because I do not make a lot of noise when I see terrible things happening in the world. A high school friend I have is very radical in her thinking. She told me, "We need to stop trying to make the reality of hatred and racism and bullying seem like it is someone else's issue." I believe she was trying to get me all excited and enraged so that I would run to the next sit in. Instead I just started thinking. These things, whether we are guilty or not, belong to us all. We are all affected in some way by another persons bad decisions or careless mistakes. Their bigotry and hatred will eventually leak into our lives.<br />
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The scary part is we end up defending or being offended by situations that we are not personally connected to. How many conversations have you had with friends and family about police brutality? Howe many times have you had to talk to your kids about how wrong bullying is? Your kids are not bullies. However, the prevalence of bullying and the fact that our kids could one day be bullied,...lead to the discussion. How much do you know about prejudice? Aside from the friend you have that is black or the neighbors you have that are white or the mailman that is Korean. You love them. So why are you constantly having to be caught up in conversations about the racism issue in America,? These tend to be very uncomfortable conversations for those of us that are Not prejudice or homophobic or extremely religious. We just want to live our lives with no drama and no confusion.<br />
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It would be amazing! If we did not have to address these issues, It would be a miracle if these issues just simply did not exist. But the TRUTH...... the TRUTH......is we live in a world at a time where PEACE, LOVE and JOY are available to everyone but not afforded to everyone. It is kind of like anyone can have a 2016 BMW, but how many can afford to own it?<br />
<br />
I do not often feel the need to boycott. That does not mean that I am not upset by a great deal of the things I see on the news every night. I believe in prayer. And I pray constantly for God to step in and change so much. I believe many of us do that. We see prayer as the only option for us. We could protest and boycott and rally but we just do not believe it will change things.<br />
<br />
This is where the lines get blurred. People see us as being unaffected or uninterested because we are not in the trenches so to speak. But REMEMBER behind every good man is a fantastic woman. Behind every good protest is a group of people praying. We pray for change and we pray for the safety of those who are protesting. You are no more important to a cause than I am just because you feel like you get your hands dirty. If we start at the same exact place digging a 10 foot trench and I have a shovel and you use your hands, there is a possibility that I will get done faster and cleaner than you. Then again maybe we will finish at the same time. Whatever the end is, we both worked jud just as passionately as the other.<br />
<br />
Do not create a bubble within a bubble. Do not assume because someone is not carrying a sign, holding a bull horn, sleeping on the stairs of the courthouse or boycotting a business means they are not standing for something.<br />
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Some of us do our best work and our most diligent fighting sitting down, How well can we achieve POWER TO THE PEOPLE without PRAYER FOR THE PEOPLE?<br />
<br />
BlessingsAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-61865158002199340262015-10-28T07:21:00.002-07:002016-06-30T17:46:13.452-07:00Understanding<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 12.88px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><b>The things that we do not understand. Tend to control our thoughts and our reactions. Because if we know Why or someone tells us the reason,..we feel as if a void is filled. It's like our minds just cannot deal with NOT UNDERSTANDING when bad things happen, We relive the moment or the news of the moment over and over again, as if repetition will bring closure.</b></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><b>The TRUTH is,...we are not supposed to UNDERSTAND every action, every incident, every loss, every pain. Our responsibility is to accept it. It seems cold and it seems like there is no closure in acceptance. But there is no closure in longing for understanding and explanations. I have been through enough in my life to say,......God does NOT always leave us with a clear answer. He does not always make an obvious explanation. Not because God doesn't want us to KNOW, But because HE works in a way that we as humans cannot fathom. And IT makes sense.</b></span></i></div>
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<span style="line-height: 12.88px;"><i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><b>He is God,....if we could figure him out and break down every single thing he does so that we can GET IT,..then he would be more like US. To much like US. We want to wrap our heads around the most painful things. But KNOWING does NOT take away the pain and the confusion. Sometimes KNOWING hurts worse. Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;"</b></span></i></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><b>Our understanding is so small and so easy. We understand the obvious simple things that happen. God's work and his understanding is complicated and designed for a purpose. That is why there will be times, when all you can do is TRUST HIM. The times when NOTHING makes sense, trusting God is the ONLY thing we can do, </b></span></i></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-15172073018408251092015-10-28T06:21:00.000-07:002015-10-28T06:21:51.445-07:00Fear......I cannot sleep.<br />
I have a Dr.s appointment tomorrow.<br />
A surgeon consultation.<br />
And as much as I love the Lord and I trust him with my life and my family and my future,<br />
I am afraid.<br />
Why!!?<br />
What would make a God fearing, Praying, Committed to his word, Woman of God be afraid?<br />
Well the truth is,....FEAR.<br />
FEAR has tried to infiltrate my spirit for days.<br />
The unknown'......The could be's....<br />
The possibilities........have managed to create doubt in me.<br />
And I am very upset by that.<br />
<br />
I have been through so much in my life that being AFRAID has become like a joke, Because fear has not ever been an option. I had to keep it moving and trust God. I did not have a lot of time to wallow in pity or be held by fear.<br />
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But...I had a moment. And I will Never forget what that felt like. So I am sharing that fear, that worry and that vulnerability with you all. So that you will know even in your fear,..you are not alone. So many of us are afraid even though we know God is in control. We have moments.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-65262386278176760572015-10-26T18:35:00.000-07:002015-10-26T18:36:22.567-07:00The Fight<span style="line-height: 28.8px;">I have fought all day today!</span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d596d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.8px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="line-height: 28.8px;">I have been in pain,</span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; line-height: 28.8px;" /><span style="line-height: 28.8px;">I have been in fear.</span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; line-height: 28.8px;" /><span style="line-height: 28.8px;">I have been in tears</span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; line-height: 28.8px;" /><span style="line-height: 28.8px;">I had a seizure</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border: 0px; line-height: 28.8px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />I had a doctors appt that bothered me<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />I had a conversation that consumed me<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />BUT I NEVER HAD a loss in Communication<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />With God,…..every single time<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />I cried out to him, I felt his presence and his mercy<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />I have been so full and so weighed down all day!<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />But as I get ready for bed<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />I am grateful and faithful<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />that I was NEVER ALONE and NEVER BEATEN<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />God simply is,…..<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />And today,..He simply was.<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />I fought all day today,…and I won</span></span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d596d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.8px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="line-height: 28.8px;">I have fought all day today!</span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; line-height: 28.8px;" /><span style="line-height: 28.8px;">I have been in pain,</span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; line-height: 28.8px;" /><span style="line-height: 28.8px;">I have been in fear.</span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; line-height: 28.8px;" /><span style="line-height: 28.8px;">I have been in tears</span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; line-height: 28.8px;" /><span style="line-height: 28.8px;">I had a seizure</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border: 0px; line-height: 28.8px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />I had a doctors appt that bothered me<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />I had a conversation that consumed me<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />BUT I NEVER HAD a loss in Communication<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />With God,…..every single time<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />I cried out to him, I felt his presence and his mercy<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />I have been so full and so weighed down all day!<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />But as I get ready for bed<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />I am grateful and faithful<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />that I was NEVER ALONE and NEVER BEATEN<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />God simply is,…..<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />And today,..He simply was.<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />I fought all day today,…and I won</span></span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d596d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.8px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Blessings</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-87591919973546103842015-10-26T18:29:00.003-07:002015-11-10T17:04:51.489-08:00The N Word<div class="reader__full-post-content" data-reactid=".h.$=1$dialog.0.0.0.0.4" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border: 0px; color: #3d596d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: inherit; line-height: 1.8; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 16px 0px 0px; position: relative; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
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Just talked to my 7 year old Chamberland about what nigga means</div>
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Read With Caution….</div>
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The word Nigga<br />
Will make you stop reading right here<br />
Not because you are prejudice<br />
Because it is the backlash that we fear</div>
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See, some of us will say it<br />
And then wait with out a doubt<br />
For the word Nigga<br />
To come out the wrong person’s mouth<br />
I can grab a mic and I can say Nigga did or Nigga don’t<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1ha-OwLCm3k/Vi7TToTmU-I/AAAAAAAAccE/98B1lcCSVo0/s1600/the%2BN%2Bword.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1ha-OwLCm3k/Vi7TToTmU-I/AAAAAAAAccE/98B1lcCSVo0/s400/the%2BN%2Bword.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
Because the color of my skin says<br />
This ain’t the Nigga that you want.</div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.8;">We march and say change your name back to the African name of the slave</span></div>
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But do we understand that the A. FRI. CAN<br />
had no choice in the name that they gave<br />
Just like they had no choice nor did they have a voice<br />
When their own kings and queens sold them off<br />
So forgive me please I will keep my name<br />
My family came here from the south<br />
Where your name meant more than the land you owned and your family meant more than your status. We give the world POWER when the word offends us,… The POWER to offend and to trap us</div>
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And if I stand up and say, take responsibility<br />
For the things we as people do wrong’Then the activist with the mighty fist<br />
Will say I’ve been around white folks to long</div>
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I just want to see if unity is possible before I die<br />
If blacks, whites and browns can one day come around<br />
Without airplanes falling from the sky<br />
Because tragedy should not be the ONLY TIME we can come together<br />
Love, Hope and Joy for the girls and the boys<br />
And the being HUMAN is all that really matters</div>
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Police do the wrong thing and get 20 minutes of pain<br />
Black families 30 years of bereavement<br />
Because some cop saw a Nigga<br />
And he pulled the trigga<br />
Another life gone that we needed</div>
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But when Bad Jesse Jones..comes along with his crew<br />
And kills one of his own black brothers<br />
We march once again<br />
And try to pretend that WE ALWAYS love one another</div>
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You can’t shake me with a word that means ignorant and lack of understanding<br />
Because I know I’m not a Nigga<br />
And honestly, the nigga is the fool that keeps saying it.<br />
You have no idea why you use such a ridiculous word<br />
to describe who you don’t understand.<br />
You think because you make more money<br />
Or you own some lucrative land<br />
that the politicians that are on a mission to keep us all at each other’s throat<br />
Will NOT one day be standing in your front yard<br />
With the lynch mob and 10 feet of rope.</div>
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It’s a word. Stop being held captive by our ancestor’s fights and wars<br />
Niggas can be whoever you think is plain ignorant<br />
They don’t have to be rich or poor<br />
Just remember that the word is fueled<br />
when we continue to supply the power<br />
And it often rolls of the lips of a racist you know he is also a coward</div>
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And if you think a nigga, has to be of the African American heritage<br />
I would love to show you the definition<br />
You may be shocked to see what Webster says it is</div>
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Dom’t ask why do black people say Nigga<br />
Because they DO NOT OWE YOU an answer<br />
We were once called Negroes and Colored<br />
Strippers use to be Exotic Dancers</div>
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Nigga……<br />
The word Nigga<br />
Will make you uncomfortable<br />
Not because the word is strong<br />
But because of the history behind it<br />
Nigga,…will always be wrong<br />
(c)vjrs2015</div>
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Blessings</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-8339715603457977252015-10-26T18:25:00.002-07:002015-10-26T18:25:17.813-07:00The Wind Blew<div style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d596d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.8px; margin-bottom: 24px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i><b><br /></b></i></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7DEZtHGqXUA/Vi7R0EqjO4I/AAAAAAAAcb8/c6jPAhuBt18/s1600/11212617_1615835938632154_480518621206487139_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="203" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7DEZtHGqXUA/Vi7R0EqjO4I/AAAAAAAAcb8/c6jPAhuBt18/s400/11212617_1615835938632154_480518621206487139_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<i><b><br /></b></i></div>
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<i style="line-height: 28.8px;"><b>And Then The Wind Blew!</b></i></div>
<div style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d596d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.8px; margin-bottom: 24px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i><b>I’m often said to be to much<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />I remember when I wasn’t enough</b></i><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" /><em style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 600; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">They said I had big lips and wide hips. Long legs and dark skin. I talked”white” But not white enough to blend in. They said my forehead was big. And my nose was small. I heard what they said. I heard it all. Then one day the wind blew.<span class="text_exposed_show" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />And my lips were full, my hips had sex appeal. My dark skin was no longer a sin. And my forehead was a sign that I had a creative mind. Then the wind blew.</span></span></em></div>
<div style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d596d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.8px; margin-bottom: 24px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<em style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 600; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Now My nose was sweet and my legs went on and on. The ME that they passed on was the Me that had passed them. Graceful and articulate. Now they want to follow me and be near me wherever I sit. And NOBODY remembers when I was not enough. When I had to much attitude and not enough hair and my behind sat high but my zip code was to low.<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />They forgot about the verbal bricks and invisible stones they threw. And I will never forget that no matter what you said NOTHING MADE ME WANT TO LOOK LIKE YOU. And then the wind blew.</span></em></div>
<div style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d596d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.8px; margin-bottom: 24px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<em style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 600; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I had grown into a Queen and I polished my crown.</span></em></div>
<div style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d596d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.8px; margin-bottom: 24px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<em style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 600; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">While it sits on my head because I NEVER LOOKED DOWN. See now I am<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />TO MUCH Because I’m out of your reach. A caterpillar transformed with wings like an eagle. Same lips hips and legs that were not enough. Same nose and same voice….YOU should have loved me back then like I did. And understood I was just a kid because now…..the wind blew.</span></em></div>
<div style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d596d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.8px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<em style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 600; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">And I’m way to much. The sun rose and fell 5,000 times and God was preparing me for mine. I remember when I wasn’t enough…..And then the wind blew….. And BAM. Mrs. NOT enough is Now Mrs. I Love who I am. I had plans to get close to you and go over our lives. To reminisce about all the old times…and then the wind blew……<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />Vjrs(c)2014</span></em></div>
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<em style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 600; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></span></em></div>
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<em style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 600; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Blessings</span></em></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-39489909216316647562015-10-26T18:19:00.003-07:002016-07-05T07:53:58.931-07:00It's Your Season<span style="background-color: white; color: #3d596d; font-family: "merriweather" , "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.8px;">Aggravated by the silence. No movement. Just the booming sound of nothing…reminding me that my hopes and dreams are sleeping. And the only way to wake what sleeps is to call it’s name. To command it’s attention. The quiet is deafening…….where did the time go? Everyone around me is climbing ladders and breaking records. And the world seems to be moving past me. The silence! I can’t take it anymore. I’m trapped in the waiting room. On the basement floor…..Then there’s a</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d596d; font-family: "merriweather" , "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.8px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> break in the noise….and it’s the remarkable sound of God’s voice. He says “I have watched you waiting to make your dreams come true…..and it seemed like you would never do what you were called to do. Well now is the time and there is no more silence. And I’ll even give you the reason. You may have felt ready and tired of waiting. But now IT IS FINALLY YOUR SEASON……</span><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PyIYgqsPUa8/Vi7RBdbAXtI/AAAAAAAAcbw/vfFOFsFU-ZQ/s1600/20140629_092610-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PyIYgqsPUa8/Vi7RBdbAXtI/AAAAAAAAcbw/vfFOFsFU-ZQ/s400/20140629_092610-1.jpg" width="192" /></a></div>
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d596d; font-family: "merriweather" , "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.8px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></span>
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d596d; font-family: "merriweather" , "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.8px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Blessings</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-51571871749342408222015-10-26T18:16:00.003-07:002015-10-26T18:16:43.803-07:00The Final Chapter<a href="https://valrierobertsonsmith.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/be-grateful-for-what-you-do-have.jpg" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: left; color: #33bbe3; float: left; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.8px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; margin-top: 0px; outline: dotted thin; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="Be-Grateful-for-What-You-Do-Have" class=" wp-image-59 alignright" height="265" src="https://valrierobertsonsmith.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/be-grateful-for-what-you-do-have.jpg?w=653&quality=80&strip=info" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border: 0px; display: inline; float: right; height: auto; margin: 12px auto 12px 32px; max-width: 100%;" width="400" /></a><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #3d596d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.8px;">The final chapter of your story will be the chapter that is remembered. It will be the one that sums it all up and puts it all into perspective. The chapter that explains why you had to endure all the other chapters and unveils your victory. The final chapter makes the book worth reading. Those earlier chapters were good and yes they got people’s attention, but THE LAST ONE, will leave them Breathless</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-48914204496185103212015-10-26T18:14:00.002-07:002015-10-26T18:14:47.211-07:00Underneath<span style="background-color: white; color: #3d596d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.8px;">On my JOURNEY,..I am learning not to WALK AROUND every rock placed in my path, sometimes SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT IS HIDDEN UNDERNEATH, ……</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #3d596d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.8px;">Blessings</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-54263688521731763912015-09-08T12:05:00.003-07:002016-07-09T19:22:10.309-07:00YOUR Story Could Save Their LifeAn opportunity to share your story comes each and everyday. We pass people on the streets, in the store, gas stations, school and work that need to hear our stories. We are not taught to just blurt out all that we have been through. We are actually taught the opposite. Keep secrets. Family business is family business. Do not tell anyone about this or that. Lives are usually impacted and changed through the sharing of our lives. Our testimonies show someone who is lost that they can be found. We are quite often the light they need to move forward.<br />
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I often encourage people to mentor or spend time with young people. I believe that we can keep them safe sometimes just by letting them know that trouble, is not a necessity in their lives. And by honestly saying, :hey I messed up too once or twice."<br />
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If the things you have gone through in your life taught you valuable lessons just imagine what it could do if you share it. If you threw caution to the wind and stepped out and said "HERE I AM! I SURVIVED! THIS IS HOW!" We share so much on social media and text messages. But the gems of information that we have been blessed to acquire in our lifetime, go unshared.<br />
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What if I told you that you could save a life by sharing some of the hardest parts of yours? Your neighbor has a beautiful yard. You want yours to look the same. So you go next door and you ask, "How do you keep your yard so beautiful?" They invite you in and share their secrets and tips, Nothing for them to lose by helping you. The same thing goes for our lives and sharing them with people that just do not know what to do. Your struggle with MS, Cancer, rape survival, abuse survival, unemployment, drugs,...are all testimonies that someone needs to hear! You made it out. Now reach back and grab someone else.<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-d9eLPUt6Lw8/Ve8xVQOM26I/AAAAAAAAZ5I/HRu4HsQdVA8/s1600/hamds.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-d9eLPUt6Lw8/Ve8xVQOM26I/AAAAAAAAZ5I/HRu4HsQdVA8/s400/hamds.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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I started this blog because I realized that I was not the only person dealing with disease and loss and pain. I felt better when I shared my life. I felt like I was doing something besides being "sick".<br />
The reality is everyone will not care about your story but so many people need to hear it that those few who don't have no relevance. If God has placed in a place where you have climbed from the valley or sacrificed to live or fought to stay happy, you are meant to share that.<br />
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I will never run out of testimony. God has pulled me out so many times. I have survived and endured so many things. I have to spread the word to so many people. I know you feel weird or uncomfortable sometimes sharing your pain and your past. But if you are alive today to share it, then you should!<br />
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We owe it to one another to offer up as much help and advice as we can. No it is not a pact or a plan. It is a part of the human condition. We need one another. Because we endure so many of the same situations. I create bonds. My husband say I know half of the world and I love the other half. Actually I love all of the world. And if I can make a difference in one person;s life by sharing where i have been and what I have been through,....I will do it.<br />
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Tell your story, share your gems, reach out and grab someone that has no idea what to do next. Trust me, the day will come when someone will do the same for you. Their story may save your life or vice versa.<br />
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BlessingsAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955637171195172473.post-43145958826821890262015-07-23T13:36:00.001-07:002015-07-23T13:36:24.144-07:00Auto Immune Disease Awareness Video.......PLEASE WATCH and SHARE<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwK9NFyOFr21f_OzpzsEhDkYbQdDjyquutbPFxksIEdtce4wGD8MqTKWYUQ-L72uidBc_gEkLDlGnLFoGeTcA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02234145919793384933noreply@blogger.com0