Friday, February 15, 2013

Multiple Sclerosis & Loosing My Memory

The first time you forget where your glasses are only to later find them on top of your head, is funny the first time. When you run around the house looking for the keys that your kids tell you are already in your hand, you giggle. People will compare memory loss stories. Everyone will laugh and joke and make fun. The sad thing is there are some of us that can no longer laugh at our memory loss without being afraid at the same time.

I told myself two years ago when I realized that I was forgetting more than just my keys and glasses, that I needed to get proactive in preserving my memories. Doctor's will tell you that it is age, medication, illness, etc,... . The thing is increasing loss of important memories can be devastating. I journal and I take a lot of pictures. I try to play brain games online and Memory Match with my 5 year old. These are my ways of making sure my memories don't fade.

It's weird when you see someone that you haven't seen in a few years and their name escapes you. It is terrifying when you see someone every few months and the last conversation or the last place you met have to be dug out from under the fog and confusion that is trying to take place of what you want to remember. I talk to many of my friends with MS that are concerned about memory loss. I have two friends that have Parkinson's and they are horrified at what could be with regard to their ability to remember.

I hold on to all that I can. I tell them to do the same. I have 4 spiral notebooks with important dates and names and places and numbers. I have my children's favorite places and colors and foods. My hands ache soon after I start writing. So sometimes I have someone write it for me. I just keep record of what is important to me. I think everyone has days when they forget or are forgetful. Those days for some of us can become everyday. It is a scary feeling. However, it is something i feel like I can continue to stay on top of.

DO NOT BELIEVE that WE HAVE TO GIVE OUR MEMORIES to this ILLNESS! We can Fight like hell to keep them just as we do everything else. We just have to be proactive that's all.

I don't want to forget a person, a moment, a blessing. These are the things that make me happy. I need them in order to continue my fight. Take whatever steps you need to remember. You know yourself best. And when people say, "Oh everyone forgets/" Your reply could be, "Yeah but I want to remember."

So if you see me out and I do not immediately recognize you, give me a minute. I will remember and wait until you see MY SMILE when I do.

Blessings

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