I fell asleep last night with thoughts of being comfortable in my current condition. I thought of all the physical pain I have endured not just in illness but in life as a general process. I tried to recall that ONE TIME when God did not show up or was not available to me. Even though before I learned to humble myself I was rarely available to him. But he kept me anyway.I prayed and I fell asleep in my bed upstairs.The last words I remember whispering were" I speak life."
When I woke up I was in my living room on the couch with my 15 yr old son holding my hand and comforting me. I immediately began to cry because even though I was not sure what happened I knew something had happened to me. My son said "Mama you came down the stairs 30 minutes ago. I looked at you and I asked you if you needed something and I realized that you were asleep." I sat up and stared at him.as he talked "I asked you over and over Mama do you need something, I was in the Family room and you were walking the other way towards the Living room. You kept saying "YOU CALLED ME" and I said :No I didn't. But you insisted that I had called you. So I followed you and you went into the living room and sat down. I sat beside you and watched you as you just stared ahead."
At this point I began crying. I did not remember any of this. HE continued:You sat there for a few minutes and then you went into a seizure. And I jumped up and held you to keep you safe and I just whispered "It's okay Mom, I got you." I was so shocked. I have 15 stairs that take us from the first level to the second. I could not believe I walked down the stairs alone and asleep. Everyone else in the house was sleeping except Chandler.(15 yr old) So I sat back on the couch and I started praising God for KEEPING ME and DELIVERING ME safely to the arms of my son.These illnesses are trying to kill me....BUT GOD!
This is where I am right now, This kind of thing has become my reality. SO of course we have taken the day to safety proof the house and make sure I can not go down the stairs. But my AMAZEMENT in all of this is that GOD WALKED ME TO SAFETY. He knew a seizure in my bed alone was not going to be good. My husband dealing with his own physical pain was asleep in the spare bedroom. You cannot tell me what God can do! I was alone physically. BUT GOD! I share this story because I want YOU all to KNOW that God is a DELIVERER he will bring you out and take you too and PROTECT YOU when you have no idea that you need protection. God is a light, a pathway, a protector and last night like so many times before HE WAS MY SAVIOR! Be ENCOURAGED YOU ALL! HE is working on your behalf while you are sleeping. ADT is NOT protecting you, that big dog of mine did not protect me, a weapon in the closet gave me No protection last night! NOTHING KEPT ME AND DELIVERED ME and PROTECTED ME but Jesus! Glory be to God!
Isaiah 54:17 No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue [that] shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD
Blessings
Your faith is incredibly deep. You are going to be okay, but I know that at times it certainly does not seem like it.
ReplyDeleteThank you Connie!!!! <3
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