Thursday, February 7, 2013

I Fight for My Kids

I am blessed with lots of kids. I wouldn't have it any other way. I find that I probably owe my ability to outrun complete disability to my children. People ask me if I need help with them. I always say no. Not because I don't appreciate the gesture. It is because taking care of them is my reason for getting up some days. I have technically been sick since I had my 13 year old son in 1999. I was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy and congestive heart failure 3 months after his birth. I lost 24 pounds during the pregnancy. I was a mess! I had some issues growing up that made my mom think I was suffering from some illness but I was a go getter and just didn't slow down long enough to check it out. I was placed on the heart transplant list after having him, Can you imagine that!? I had just given birth to this most beautiful child! I was breastfeeding and fully enjoying him! But as fate would have it, we had to be apart for almost two weeks.

All I could think about in that hospital was getting home to my kids. I could deal with anything if I could just go home. They needed me. I needed them. My mom would sleep on a cot in the hospital room so that my baby could be with me. She knew that I needed to be near him. My recovery depended on it. And I recovered! I was actually getting better. Even the doctor's were surprised.

My children are the driving force in my life. I feel like they make it all seem worthwhile. I rarely complain about my life because God has bless me so with my kids. They are funny and smart and honest. they give me pep talks and encouragement. On the real bad days they climb in my bed and turn on the tv and we just enjoy that moment. They research my illnesses and understand that my personal reality is a bit scary sometimes. They are strong though. Strong for me and each other.

My husband says I have my own GANG of bodyguards. He can call them what he wants. I just know that for me they provide that THING that makes me want to win every race, jump every hurdle, and weather every storm. They are my inspiration and they give me determination.

So if anyone ever wants to know what makes me GO, it is my KIDS. Three of them are grown and three still need me full time. Well at least I say they do. I truly believe we all have a person, a reason, a love that makes us want to climb just one more stair. Whatever it is for you, write it down or take a picture and place the pic or the writing everywhere to remind you of why you are staying in the game.

It helps when you have a reason to fight.