Monday, February 18, 2013
Who In Hell Invited You?
Have you ever had an unwanted guest. I mean unwanted! But you really had no choice except putting up with them for the duration of their stay. It could be an old friend that really wasn't a friend. It could be an in law, a relative, or just someone that doesn't know when to leave! You are cordial and accommodating for awhile and then you get irritated and decide enough is enough. "Okay, it is time to go now," you say. You can't believe the words actually came out but you are glad that they did. I mean my goodness, how long does it take to realize you are not welcome here.
That is what being sick can feel like. Illnesses are rude. And unlike some people the illness has the purpose of hanging around and making you sick, irritated, annoyed, and angry. You take meds but soon realize that these are a temporary fix, a band aid or sometimes the meds are nothing at all. Just another complication this unwanted guest has brought to your life.
Imagine your spouses brother or your partner's sister moves in for what you believe is a temporary visit. The relationship has always been a little strained and you know that deep inside you would prefer this person to be anywhere but with you. Your space is intruded upon, your food is being eaten, your electricity is being used, your water being depleted. There are times when you can't even think because this person is all you think about. Well let me tell you,, I know what you are feeling. I just wish I could have a conversation with the damn disease. I would probably be anything but polite. And my pastor would cringe at my choice of words. I will put it this way, it would not be a family friendly conversation.
The idea that these illnesses had made themselves welcome into my life is probably the hardest part about having them. I mean even when someone shows up at your door that isn't wanted you have the choice whether to let them in or not. What I would give for that choice!
I will be honest I do wake up each morning grateful for life. I do try to be as positive as I can even on the bad days. I trust that God is doing something wonderful and beyond comprehension in my life. But if these intruders just packed their symptoms and left my body one day, I would shout for unbelievable joy!
Who wants to be sick!? Who wants to entertain the unwanted guest!? I know I don't. I wish the unwanted guest would leave. That's it, just go! We can act like none of this ever happened. I wish it was that easy. For now I will entertain them. I will fight them. I will medicate them. But just as nobody else can take over my house, I'm not letting illness take over my body. Yep, I'm fighting to the death!
I know I didn't invite you to come by, so don't expect me to make you feel at home.