I stood in the mirror this morning looking at myself. No lipgloss, no eyeliner, no clothes on. Just me looking at the person that God loves with every flaw, scar, wound, extra weight, deep brown skin, and muscle that I could see with my eyesight. And I leaned into the mirror. I wanted to SEE THE ME that God sees. I wanted to look into my own spirit and see what is good in me, see what is love in me, see what is joy in me, see the God in me.
I stared. I smiled, I touched my face and I ran my hands through my hair it felt thin, so I grabbed my scarf and I wrapped it up, then I ran my hands up and down my arms. And I realized that my SPIRIT is living within this shell. This shell that can be beat up and burned. This shell that can be transformed and mistreated. The shell that can lose hair and gain weight This shell that can be made up and played up to look any way I want. But when I looked into my own eyes. When I leaned in deep enough to see my left eye twinkle and my right eye grasp for light. I smiled
It was an experience that we all should have. We know what the OUTSIDE LOOKS LIKE . We know WHAT WE CAN DO TO CHANGE THE OUTSIDE, We Understand that Our bodies are shells or coverings. But WHAT IS INSIDE of You? Do you see the Good in you and the Love in you and the Joy in you and the God in you? Do you see past what the obvious beauty is and see into the spiritual beauty you are?
My skin is nice and soft and a beautiful shade of brown. My body has scars and wounds and marks, proof of a life worth fighting for. My face is so much like my mothers and my sisters, so much like my sons and my granddaughters that it has become OUR FACE. But MY SPIRIT! It is MINE and It smiled at me this morning. It looked at me and I looked back. And as I began to wash my face I heard God say,....."Did you see it?" And I wondered How can SO MUCH be CONTAINED in so LITTLE? How could a LIGHT be SO BRIGHT inside but Dimmed when exposed? And I heard God say..."Did you see it?"
The healthy, joy filled, overflowing, ever growing, loving, beautiful piece of me that lives in that shell, that has not been broken or tainted, did you see it?" The vessel of truth and my hope for the world, like an oyster I finally looked inside at the pearl. And I loved it, I touched the mirror and said, "Lord I am so much more than I realize, I did not KNOW I had a spirit that size!" And I smiled